wanted to say this eariler but blogger wouldn't let me!

Basically - am feeling a lot better now :) Not sure what changed, but it did so i'm happy!

I miss him. I miss having a close male friend, that I can talk to anytime and go shopping with and see movies with, and who wants to do the same with me.

The feeling comes and goes, but everytime I see him I realise that I don't can't call him my best friend anymore, and that hurts. I have plenty of friends, and some of them are close ones...but it's not the same.

I think I might watch a funny movie before I go to bed, cheer myself up.

Have now started 3rd year of uni. In an amazing house, it's absolutely huge, with 3 kitchens, 8 bathrooms and 15 people living here. I've finally got a decent kitchen so can do some real cooking now. My room is also unbelievably big. Have settled into it quite nicely though and am generally having a good time :) Only real stress is work which is such a change from last year, I really appreciate my mental peace now.

Have been having lots of random thoughts as ever, but somehow haven't managed to keep them in my head long enough to write them down. I dunno, sometimes it's nice to just let a thought wash over you instead of capturing it in writing. Once you write it down it's bound by your words, somehow it makes me stop thinking about the topic as much once I've written it down - sometimes that's good, sometimes bad, but recently I've decided to just go with the flow and not over analyse.

I think keeping peace of mind is going to be one of my focuses for this term.

I just found this in my drafts section - wrote it a long time ago. I don't think it's finished, but thought I'd give it to you in it's raw form anyway. Be warned, it's cheesy...

A Perfect World:

would allow people to follow their dreams, no matter what their financial situation
would not have people judging each other
would have no religion, but a god that really is good and who does not demand worship.
would have everyone on earth able to have access to the basics of living.
would have people that do not feel the need to destroy.
probably would not have people.

Simon and Garfunkel - I am a Rock

A winter's day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Been so long! Starting to get lazy with posting now. Helped out with my mum's Indian Independance day function a few days after the last post, but it's not really worth going into so.....

I'll start with Scotland: Went there at the end of August with my cousins. We saw the Edinburgh festival on the 1st day, and stayed in a youth hostel with a beautiful sea view.



Went on a frickin' scary ghost tour at night after seeing a random play and a few street shows. The next morning we hired a car and drove to Balloch in the Trossachs. Our youth hostel was like an old castle on the edge of a loch and was surrounded by forests and fields - it was incredibly beautiful.



After looking around the local area and loch lomond,the next day we drove up to another few lochs and Inverary, where we got lunch and proceeded to drive back to Edinburgh taking a different, more scenic route, including a car ferry. We ended up getting stranded on the car ferry for an hour (should have been a 15 minute journey) because the pier on the other side had collapsed after a storm the night before. The views were beautiful though and there was a full rainbow accross the loch for us to admire while we waited.



That was all very exciting, but meant we had to pay extra to return our car at a different place in Edinburgh and had to catch a train that got us home at 3am! Anyway, the scenery of that place was stunning, I'd love to go walking there properly one day I think.

Since then...I've driven down to Chester and back to secretly get my dad's birthday present, which was a model ship. He liked it which is always good! My aunty left for India a couple of days ago and our bathroom has been ripped apart because we have wet rot and we're having the whole bathroom replaced. Also just got a new radio cd player for my car :D

That's mostly it really. Oh, one more thing. We sent the mobile phone I was using last summer to my grandad in India with my aunty, and discovered I still had a load of old messages on there. It was strange reading through and deleting all those messages, thinking how much my relationships with people had changed in just one year. I won't go into the detail of them on here, but well, lets just say that it's funny how quickly things can change :)

Haven't written on here for a while again, busy with other things I guess :) My family went up to scotland the other week for a few days. Mum and I stayed back and I met them in Edinburgh for the day. The journey there was stunning, I was so sleepy but didn't want to shut my eyes...it's not everyday you take a train through the lake district. Anyway, Edinburgh was lovely, and my cousins and I have decided to go back for a few days later this month. We're also going to see The Trossachs, a beautiful area of Scotland.

Apart from that, been painting and drawing a lot, and buying a new car :D. I am now £1000 down (my dad changed his mind and asked me to contribute - fair enough really) and one 2nd hand Honda Civic up. Here she is:

Well there goes the Mazda. Sold it yesterday afternoon and am now car-less. Was kinda sad to see it go, we've had that car since I was 5 years old...but all good things must come to an end and my dad had the final say!

It doesn't bother me too much not having a car since I'm perfectly used to good ol' public transport and secretly quite like it sometimes, but my dad is thinking of getting another car within the next week - yay! (2nd hand). Not entirely sure what I've done to deserve having a car bought for me, but I'm not going to protest! He basically wants one that won't need maintaining like the mazda did, so we'll see what I end up with....

howdi all, whoever you may be.

Well now that's out of the was I'll get on with the post. I went down to the south west last week for my cousin's graduation from Exeter. The ceremony was really nice, and the undergrad accommodation we stayed in was hotel-like with amazing views (it is the 2nd highest building in Exeter) The town itself is really nice too. Also had dinner with my brother in Bristol after some shannagins with the hotel and the rooms and things, then spent the next day in Bath, a beautiful city; was good to talk to Rahul for a bit. Also saw Tom in Taunton since it was on my way to Bristol from Exeter...was good to see a uni friend and someone other than my family! (not that I mind seeing my family, just good to see other people!!)
I might have said this before, but the south-west really is beautiful. From what I've seen anyway, Bristol is an interesting and pretty city, Exeter has a certain charm and is similar to Taunton (though a little nicer). The countryside there is also lovely and there's lots of it! I think if I was to settle somewhere other than the north west, the south west might be it; in a village in the countryside or something :)

Speaking of countryside, also saw some of our lovely northern stuff too the other day. Me and my dad drove our family (minus mum) to Chatsworth Hall, a stately home, in Derbyshire...we need 2 cars cos there are 6 of us. It took about an hour and a half, and although I was driving I could see that the views were stunning.

All in all been quite nice :) Ok, gotta go...dog walking time!

I just want to meet someone else. I've got people constantly talking about marriage and my looks and all things to do with that stuff at the moment. I have my own expectations of where I want to be at certain times in my life. Maybe it'll happen when I think it will, maybe it won't...but it makes it easier to be optimistic when there's at least someone who might be feasible around. I'm just lonely I guess; I'm after someone to make me laugh and feel good about myself. Somone I can share with who wants to listen and who I want to talk to.

Back to that again.