I want to live by the sea at some point in my life, with a balcony to stand on and feel the cool sea breeze blow accross my skin.

The world is such a sad and depressing place when you think of all the troubles and seemingly impossible problems humans and nature cause. But every now and again you meet, or hear of people who seem to be doing things right.......little rays of light and hope in a dark and confused place.

so, here I am again.

Was woken up by a storm opening and closing my bedroom door this morning (no i don't live in a barn, my window was open). Everything's gone peaceful now, the sky is calm....reminds me of a Turner painting :-)

Sometimes I picture it like water dripping out of a barrell. No matter how much I turn the tap, it won't stop leaking. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but its always seeping out.
I thought I'd gradually refilled the barrell, fixed the tap...I had. But one unexplainable action, a mistake I suppose, and now the tap is broken again. I know how to fix it but somehow it doesn't seem so easy this time.
Meanwhile, the water drips.

What is it that I talk of?
Self esteem.

Sometimes I wish I could say something to someone, or do something just to see how they react.....then undo it if it goes badly.

I need magical powers. (or maybe that should be want)

Other people really do suck sometimes. It would be much easier for everyone if we were all happy living as a loners.
But unfortunately, we're social animals... and so it would seem that other people are essential to our happiness. Its just a matter of finding which people i think.

Bryan Adams - Inside Out

The biggest lie you ever told - your deepest fear 'bout
Growin' old
The longest night you ever spent - the angriest letter you
Never sent
The boy you swore you'd never leave - the one you kissed on
New years's eve
The sweetest dream you had last night - your darkest hour,
Your hardest fight

I wanna know you - like i know myself
I'm waitin' for you - there ain't no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I want to know you - inside out
I wanna dig down deep - i wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout - i wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time - i wanna know your mind
Ya know there ain't no doubt - i wanna know you inside out

The saddest song you ever heard - the most you said with
Just one word
The loneliest prayer you ever prayed - the truest vow you
Ever made
What makes you laught, what makes you cry
What makes you mad, what gets you by
You highest hight, your lowest low - these things I want to
Know

I wanna know you - like i know myself
I'm waitin' for you - there ain't no one else
Talk to me baby - scream and shout
I want to know you - inside out
I wanna dig down deep - i wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout - i wanna know you inside out
I wanna take my time - i wanna know your mind
Ya know there ain't no doubt - i wanna know oyu inside out
I wanna know your sould - i wanna lose control
C'mon n' let it out - i wanna know you inside out
Ya gotta dig down deep - i wanna lose some slieep
I wanna scream and shout - i wanna know oyu inside out
Tell me everything...

YAY! Had to make some compromises due to expensive taste/budget problem, but finally, as im sure you all want to know.....i've got my boots! :-D

Happy New Year everyone :-) Hope its a good one.

Been having quite a nice time recently....lots of good movies on tv, reading harry potter instead of course books, seeing my friends... mmm. :-)