Thursday, March 29, 2007

I've experienced so much in the past couple of weeks that I should have an essay to write on here - but to be honest, I haven't really had enough time to reflect on it. I just want to make the most of the short time I'm in London. It's odd though - had a wicked band reunion over the weekend, and it fell to me to write some lyrics for a song they'd just come up with. There was a time when I could have come up with something in 20mins, but I sat there for an hour and came up with 4 lines. Luckily other members of the band aren't so creatively challenged right now and came up with some great lyrics.

That kinda scared me though - I don't want to have to sacrifice my creativeness in order to make the most of my time - it's an important part of me.

A compromise is needed I feel.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

You know, there are rare occasions when a conversation with a friend can make you feel more alone than before.
When you're teetering on the edge, with concentration you can often regain your balance alone. If someone is there with you, you can reach out to them to steady you. But if you reach out a hand expecting someone to be there, and you are alone, you don't concentrate on balancing by yourself.




And you fall.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I got an internship with Demos - yay! Tis a think tank (if you don't what that is, click here). I had to get lucky sometime right? It's down in London, which is exciting because I get to live in London, but also scary because...I have to live in London! I got a week/10 days to find a place before I start...luckily I managed to find a decent place yesterday when I went down for a couple of days. Just as I'd gotten used to being back in Manchester and at home as well....

:)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I read this article in The Times yesterday. I thought it was a fairly accurate description of what I grew up seeing. Every year we would travel from our suburban paradise in England, to India for at least 2 weeks.

And I was thrown into a different world. One where the suffering of other human beings wasn't just obvious, it was clawing at your car window, sitting on the broken pavement outside your huge house, playing in an open sewer. It wasn't just on a television screen, I could smell it, hear it, see it - but no one ever did anything about it. It was just too overwhelming, too many to help. And that article is right - if you give money to one person, suddenly there are so many more - why did that one person deserve your charity and not the rest?

But somehow, I think seeing that every year, in contrast to my life at home in England, became a part of me. I didn't want to ignore it, but I had to. When the lady with a dying child in her arms cried out for a little money to feed her child, I was told to look straight ahead, not out of the windows. Occasionaly we would give money, especially to the ones with children, but something inside me knew it wasn't right. No human being should have to lead a life like that. I had done nothing special to deserve mine, just as I supposed they had done nothing special to deserve theirs. It is just a luck of the genes, the country, the times - it's random.

Yet the people who should be giving these people a decent standard of living, the government of India, is almost unbelievably corrupt - and it filters down through the whole society. You can bribe almost anyone to get what you want, and many people demand bribes just because they can - the police, civil cervants, the water companies. There is so much good work being done there, but I would not want to give a penny of my money to the Indian government, because I wouldn't trust it as far as I could throw it.

And so I think that is why I want to work in the public sector and with charities, and not just in some city job. I can't forget all the suffering I've seen and not try and do something about it, especially when I am in such a good position to do so. As I've got older, the amount I've become aware of has amplified, along with my knowledge of corrupt governments, and I just can't ignore it. I don't want to look straight ahead anymore, I want to reach out that car window and help give them a chance for a better life.

And so when people look at me, and see a Cambridge graduate and wonder why I'm not in HR or consulting or advertising or PR - I think that is why. While some of those careers do seem really interesting to me, all of what I've just described has really affected me, and something inside me needs to at least
try.