On Beauty...

As I've been getting older, I seem to find myself agreeing with all those cynical older women I heard talking when I was younger, realising that most of the time, life just doesn't have the hollywood happy endings. I've always had an awareness that if you want to attract men, you have to look good - full stop. My whole family certainly drilled that into me from a very young age (unfortunately for me though, if you're not skinny, you can't be attractive according to them - but that is a whole other tale of woe I won't go into!) As I've got older, I realised through magazines(!) and trial and error that there is obviously more to it - confidence, the ablity to flirt and flatter - these combined with good looks seem to attract men like moths to a flame...but I always had that (childish?) hope that, even if you weren't as pretty as the girl next to you, guys wouldn't care - you have the personality right?

Wrong. I really think that if a girl is pretty enough, and has an agreeable/cute/kind etc personality - she can keep a man interested for a long time, maybe even a life time in some cases. If the girl is kinda pretty, plus the aforementioned personality - maybe he'll be interested, but for a little less time, because in the end I think that most men just want to be with a beautiful woman that makes them feel good about themselves and that they get on with.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that all men are shallow and only care about how women look, and I know there are plently of men that focus on personality much more than looks for a long term partner- but I still think there are a whole lot of men out there that in the long run, prioritise the other way round. I suppose though, if both parties are happy with that, who am I to judge them?...but sometimes I wonder if there'd be more happier people in the world if it wasn't the case. The anthropologist in me kicks in here and says it's all part and because of evolution - people want to reproduce with beautiful people = more people and continuation of the species...but in this modern world where we live till 80, not 30, where people move away from their families for warmer climates and where money problems plague you from 16 and sometimes earlier, is this an evolutionary desire that is unecessarily strong - isn't personality an and a deep bond more necessary?

Maybe I'm wrong about the whole thing - I hope I'm wrong and that someone will prove me so, but right now that's how it seems to me.

(ps. been thinking about writing this for a few days now, but also read this in the sunday times yesterday which I found quite interesting!)