la de da dee.

I just bought me a GUITAR!!
:-D

Fragility is a beautiful thing.

Why is it that even people who are happy in themselves..comfortable with their own company and have plenty of friends, still feel the need for a partner? Is it something biological? Or maybe no matter how secure you are within yourself, we still need somone to confirm it. Kind of like if you see something in the corner of your eye, and somone else sees it too....it lets you know that it wasn't your imagination, it wasn't just you.
Or even if its none of those.....could it possibly be that we just feel happier knowing that there is someone there to help steady our feet, if ever we feel ourselves stumble?

Because of this:


My fingers are now covered in charcoal and it won't come off properly!

Last night I dreamt of a man who had the most beautiful eyes. They were a dark brown, surrounded with even darker eyelashes. I suppose there was nothing special in their actual shape, but when he looked at me......his eyes were so open, but hiding something at the same time.We seemed to know each other even though we had never met before. He was there with me, listening and talking, but he was holding something back. There were secrets in his eyes that he wanted to tell me...but I guess I'll just have to wait and see if he appears in my dreams again.

It's nice how a conversation with a friend can lift your spirits instantly.

If you insist on parting, at least do me the honour of a goodbye.

Nothing to sing

Your words still linger on my skin,
but I’ve been screaming for silence with my dreams.
Been listening to you sing nothing for years
Looking at your stories fabricated from tears

I was secretly falling away
Into swirling clouds and emerald seas.
Following the footprints of forgotten ghosts
Tracing the stars with a feather pen

I don’t know if that place will be better
I would have liked the company if you would have come.
But you have tears to cry and nothing to sing.
So you sold your dreams for an ear to listen

while I was secretly falling away
Into swirling clouds and emerald seas.
Following the footprints of forgotten ghosts
Tracing the stars with a feather pen

I wrote to you but you still didn’t see
the address at the top, ink dipped in the stars.
Now you have no dreams left to buy back your sanity.
Only your tears and nothing to sing.

I've been dancing in the clouds since the first time we spoke, but it wasn't until you left that I realised where I was.
Now I'm dancing here alone..... but somehow it isn't the same.

Mine

Drowning in the lingering song of Sirens
you were stolen away.
I'm sorry I had to make you mine
blind you with a moonlit candle.
You were so free of the burden of life
deaf to the cries of beauty and pain.
I couldn't bear to see you so alone
trapped with everyone else.
I had to show you the hidden door
to the endless slippery downwards path.
The view from up there was beautiful, I agree
but I've given you the chance to step into the painting.
The clutching hands call out to your dreams,
pricking the hairs on the back of your neck.
You've been hearing them sing ever since you could remember.
I showed you their fallacy, and now you're mine.

It can't be normal to be this pissed about a frickin cd rack. What the hell is wrong with me?

Salva Mea - Faithless

How can I change the world if I can't even change myself?
I cannot change the way I am?
I don't know, I don't know.
I take a look at the world behind these eyes,
Every nook, every cranny reorganize,
Realize my face don't fit the way I feel.
What's real?
I need a mirror to check my face is in place,
Incase of upheaval, fundamental movement below,
What's really going on I want to know,
But yo, we don't show on the outside, so slide.
Just below my skin I'm screaming...
I need a mirror for my spirit,
Yeah, can you feel it?
When I get deep, want to hear myself sleep,
Not drowning, tumbling around and around in the voices
Like a crowd in my head so loud,
I wonder what it's like to be dead,
I hope it's quiet, noise in my head like a riot,
Any remedy you have for me I'll try it.
Just below my skin I'm screaming...
I'm going deep, so deep that I can't sleep,
The pills ain't cheep but the bills are steep,
So I {?} with a booze and a spiff,
Try to snooze,
But who's dreaming, this is win or loose,
Put down the drink, try not to think,
Let it go, fundamental movement below,
And yo, reality is dreaming,
Just below my skin I'm screaming...

What is it with some people that whenever they offer you a drink and you reply 'a glass of water please', they instantly give you a list of all their fizzy drinks or apologise if they don't have any?
Have people forgotten what 70% of our bodies is made up of in this coca-cola/pepsi world?

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."- Aldous Huxley

Not sure I agree, but an interesting thought nonetheless.

I have one simple prayer...please please let me breathe!!

I'm in a perpetual state of being almost about to sneeze....they should introduce this as some form of torture.

Dreams

I fell asleep to the soothing sound of rain on my window. Listening to the clouds put down their heavy burden, I escaped on the wings of Morpheus. He transported me away to a land of which I only remember fragments of feelings and people. He waited an eternity in that timeless place. Then when I was ready he guided me back….awaking me to the silence of a rising sun and a new day.

"Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonly succeed."
— H L Mencken

Found that on the Times of India Website. Struck me as very true....I just wish they would stop bickering and get on with it. If parties spent less time on finding reasons for why the opposition is wrong, they would have more time to concentrate on their own policies ideas.
Personally I find someone who has thought through they're ideas and can explain them throughorly and clearly upon questioning, much more convincing than someone who says "well they're wrong so anything I come up with is better than that."

Dying to live

She walked to the edge, a vast expanse spread out beneath her.
The wind was blowing her hair across her face.
She kicked the stones around her over the edge, watching them freefall. She could be that free. It was just one step forward.
So she closed her eyes, gave her body and mind a moment to comprehend what she was about to do, and fell into the canyon beneath her.

Strange thing was though, the seconds that it took for her to fall to her death- those seconds were the only time that she had ever really been alive.

You, me and the devil makes 3.

I found my diary from when I was 12yrs old today. I wrote in that diary everyday for over a year, and then on and off for 4 more years after that.
As I was reading through, it struck me just how blunt I was about writing my feelings down. There was no expressing it in a purposely pretty or ugly way...just 'this' happened today and it made me feel like 'x'. Full stop. This person did 'this' and I reacted like 'this'. Full stop.

No explanations, no excuses. I just experienced my emotions and feelings and wrote them down, good or bad.
Why do people stop doing that when they get older? We have to have reasons for everything.
Look at me, I even want a frickin reason for why I started needing reasons for my emotions!

I just want to exsist without being asked to explain why God dammit.

Drops of Jupiter- Train

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way

i feel like i'm holding myself back from something. But I can't figure out what it is.
Maybe that's why images of myself flinging expensive, breakable objects through fragile windows pass before my eyes daily.
Maybe tomorrow i'll decide to do it.
and the day after that i'll actually do it.
Maybe tomorrow.

'The Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde.

I definitely recommend that book.

Whatever happend to personal service??

I've just spent the past 5+ minutes listening to some recorded voice telling me to say 'one' after the tone if you want 'x' option. 'two' for 'y' option etc, which then led to about 4 more menus....each time being forced to listen to all the different options i didn't want......after being made to go through the same process repeatedly, i finally reach exactly what I want, only to hear....

"I'm sorry, we are unable to connect your call at this time. Please try again later" 'click'

Arrgh!!

Obsession

Does anything i have to say really matter? Its all been expressed or said before, the same thing said in different words. Whatever idea you think of, its already been thought of by one of the other billions of people who have lived and are living on this earth. Even what i'm typing now has, i'm sure, already been expressed by other people. Every idea you have, its all inspired by something, subconciously or consciously...all the time we are taking in information from the world around us, quietly storing it. Everything we see and experience is influencing our thoughts, our ideas.
In the end is anything really original?

"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts." - Albert Einstein

How true.

ok, for another friend's birthday she's having a hollywood themed party, so now i gotta think of someone to go as.............any ideas??

Happy birthday Ayesha!!! Have a fantabulous day :-)

Braids intact.

Starting undoing them....

Still undoing them.....

Over half are done by some ungodly hour of the morning.....

Nearly there....

My normal hair!

Secret Smile- Semisonics

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
I'm losing, I'm bluesing
But you can save me from madness

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me

So save me I'm waiting
I'm needing, hear me pleading
And soothe me, improve me
I'm grieving, I'm barely believing now, now

When you are flying around and around the world
And I'm lying alonely
I know there's something sacred and free reserved
And received by me only

..............Love that song :-)

3:33am and i'm still awake.....tick tock tick tock.........

Choosing my confessions

Everyday we speak and you think you know
Think you see my faults
even the things I don’t show.

You think I’m happy because I tell you I am.
You misread the signals
They’re in a language you don’t understand.

For others I’m a glass that they can see straight through,
but really it’s a mirror, a reflection of you.
We see in each other what we think we want,
All with imperfections
The mirror is cracked.

But I choose my confessions, tailor my words.
I’m carving the mirror to match your image.
I’m giving you my life in parts.

I’m choosing the weapons I’ll allow people to use.
Whether I want to be decapitated or just left with a bruise.
Choosing my confessions from a well ordered system,
some of them erased, denied an existence,

I give to you of me what I want you to see,
always controlling my image.
The mirror that is me.

My thought of the day:
Life: Its like being rained on by diamonds- looks absolutely beautiful, but hurts like hell.

Everything exsists because we want it to. Humans invented numbers, maths. If we weren't here to listen to someone explaining a fibbonacci sequence, the petals would still form, still grow in the same orderly way. Humans invented art, writing. The ideas wouldn't even exist if we weren't here to think or express them.
If art or numbers had not been thought of by the human race, the world would still be here, but in a different form. It exists in the way we want it to. In the way we have created it......yet we spend our lives complaining about what a sucky world we live in. We created our world in its existing form...with rising and falling stock markets; starving people on one side of the world, and food mountains on the other. If enough people want it to change, it will.

If only there was a way to live life without hurting or being hurt. The world is so fucking unfair to some people.

I've got my "save the earth" hat on while typing this cos this story made me very happy :-)

"you have excellent clutch control"

Its hearing phrases like these that makes me love learning to drive! :-D.....just gotta make sure it stays that way!

why do some men seem to be under the impression that making strange noises at a girl will make her stop and talk to them?

are people really this stupid?

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods are these I think I know
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Robert Frost

Observations

I’m an ordinary girl in an extraordinary world,
watching ordinary scenes,
imagining ordinary dreams.

People go about their ordinary ways in their ordinary days,
experiencing ordinary joy
and suffering ordinary pain.

We eat our ordinary food and watch the ordinary news.
We drive our ordinary cars,
Leaders fight their ordinary wars.

You wear your ordinary clothes and play your ordinary games,
work your ordinary job
and clean your ordinary floors.

Ordinary women give birth to ordinary babies
and ordinary parents soothe their children with ordinary fables.
Ordinary people are dying in ordinary beds,
while other ordinary people are surviving the ordinary odds.

Ordinary people toil the ordinary earth,
while ordinary philosophers wonder what its all worth.

Ordinary miracles happen every ordinary day,
in this extraordinary world
with its ordinary ways.

i love rain.
That's one of the things i miss about Ghana (one of many). The rain there was absolutely amazing. None of this half hearted drizzling stuff....im talking about clothes dripping, bone soaking kind of rain. :-)
There were also lightening storms which look fantastic...makes you realise just how turbulent the earth actually is as you watch the dark clouds spit their bolts of elecrticity at random intervals, thousands of miles above your head...and I haven't even mentioned the colours......

Is kind of hard to portray. I'm sure those of you who have experienced it know what I'm talking about :-)

My lungs aren't strong enough to take the scream my body contains....so it waits indside, beneath my skin. Either for the day when I am strong enough to do it justice, or for the day when it has become uncontainable, regardless of the vessel.
Whichever comes first.

the human body never ceases to amaze

One of my babies........:-)

Went round to a friend's last night to watch a video with a few old friends...my best friends actually. This movie was one of the trippiest films i have ever seen....and by the end it it seemed to have sent a couple of us a lil crazy......
One friend couldn't breathe properly and was having something akin to an anxiety attck (not brought on by the film, but probably encouraged it!) and then proceeded to shout and gesture at the window/non-existent taxi, while she waited for the taxi to arrive (she was extremely tired!). While I on the other hand was in absolute hysterics. Im talking muscle contracting,respiration stopping hysterics here...i actually had to try and stop for a minute so i could breathe! Was exhausted by the time I had calmed myself down. The strange thing was though, I have no idea why I was laughing...nothing in particular even started me off.....

Anyhoo, after reaching home was far too hyper to go to bed so ended up staying awake half the night......am a little tired now, but man do i feel relaxed! :-D

its stories like this that break my heart

why do people feel the need to spell my name with a 't' in the middle of it, despite having seen how it's spelt a hundred times??? my name is PRACHI not fucking Pratchi!!
6 letters really aint that hard!

(sorry guys just had to get that out!)

It took all my strength to throw my life into that fire. As I watched it burn it slowly became clear….it wasn’t my life that was becoming dust and ashes, but my inhibitions, the things that had been stopping me live. They licked the flames, reluctant to burn. They had been irrevocably entwined with me for so long…for my whole life. It would’ve been easy to destroy my life, so fragile is its glue…many people do. But inhibitions…..they weigh you down like lead. I needed to experience life, to take advantage of my chance. I set myself free.

And people say i'm full of useless information....well here's some more.... ;-)

"Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs--bank vice presidents, insurance salesman, auditors, secretaries of defense--and you'll realize they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears mens wear department dress. Now look at the real successes, the people who make a lot more money than you--Elton John, Captain Kangaroo, anybody from Saudi Arabia, Big Bird, and so on. They all dress funny--and they all succeed. Are you catching on?"

Dave Barry, "How to Dress for Real Success"

So instead of spending the next 3 years at uni...i should just go out and buy a whole new wardrobe! Now there's an excuse if ever i needed one! :-D

"Freedom of speech matters only when there is freedom of thought."

true?

Taken in the park down the road from my house when it last snowed :-)

She keeps on walking the same, never ending path, on and on. Every now and again she decides to veer off into the unknown and explore an undiscovered trail, but soon she is walking back on the same path again, still heading for the same place. She tricks herself into thinking that she is lost, that this path is new, that it is leading her somewhere else……but really its all alike. Every path will drag her to the same place that she has always been heading... just no one has bothered to tell her.

While teaching in Ghana one of the boys I was teaching , after finding out my age, asked me :
"Miss Prachi...are you a girl or a woman?"
Good question i thought.
outloud: "I would say i'm a woman, but i'm sure some would say I was a girl."

Is there one defining point?

He plummeted down.
‘I’ve fallen’ he said.
‘Where?’
‘Into the unknown. The only way to fix it is for you to fall too.’
‘I don’t want to. Not there, not with you.’
‘…………’
‘What made you fall?’
‘Don’t know, it was an accident.'

.......Did he trip or did I inadvertently push him?

I watched you cry my tears. I was addicted to your pain, afraid of my own. I witnessed your tears evaporate into the night air, envious of their existence, of your ability to weep. It had been so long since I had felt those warm tears heat my cold veins. I would make you cry, since I could not. Experience the release through you.
Please, just let me shed my tears.