My great grandma died yesterday morning. She was 99 years old. It felt like a piece of my world as I knew it had just shattered before my eyes when I heard the news. I knew she was old and unwell, that it could happen anytime...but she'd been ill before and gotten better. My aunty said she had a serene look on her face, more serene than when she slept. I'm so glad about that.

My grandparent's life revolved around looking after her, I don't know what they'll do now. In a way I think it helped to make them feel young, having a specific job to do, someone else to dote over. It must be so hard for my grandfather -he hasn't been without his mother for the duration of his 80+ year life...I think the relationship had almost reversed as she got older, but it was still his mother.

I wish there was something I could do to help, something to ease their pain. But I think I'd be more in the way if I went to India, even if I could. I miss them a lot, maybe I don't tell them enough.

I think she's probably the strongest woman I have ever met. Mataji, as I called her, had such a strong spirit. Her mind was still pretty sharp for a 99 year old, even if her body was weak. We had a language barrier, in that I barely speak Hindi and she knew no English...but I loved her all the same.

I hope she finds the peace I know she wanted, wherever she is now.
Goodbye, Mataji.
xx