I can feel myself building up those walls again, that I so foolishly let someone break through by showing them my weak areas. The disadvantage of these walls is that I feel more detatched from everything, people. The advantage is that I can manage by myself, in my self-sufficient world. I can deal with feeling alone better, because by building up walls it becomes my normality.

When lonliness is normal, you stop thinking about it. It's just how your life is for now.