I was thinking the other day about what it is that makes me post on this blog regularly. Who am I talking to? It started off 2 years ago, as somewhere to put all the random thoughts I have (I have quite a lot!) Somewhere to put down/witness all those things I think of, that would just sound too random to say to a friend or another person.

It still serves that purpose for me now, as well as the added bonus of being a good way to keep people updated on your life. However, it occurred to me recently, I think I use this space as a replacement for someone to listen to me. I have friends, that I talk about very random stuff with, but this is the little things, that aren't worth mentioning off hand unless its to a person who wants to know you inside out.

I want someone to want that. To meet me and want to know more, not to get to know a bit then get bored or decide it's not worth it. Importantly, I want to feel the same about that person. I want to meet someone that I find fascinating, that I can't figure out after a few converstaions and want to know more. I want someone to care about about, to love. And to have that in return.

Until then though, I'll keep posting here...as a witness to myself. I saw 'Shall we dance' over the easter holidays. There was a line in it, that said "We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness."

I'm not saying I want to get married just yet....but that's what I'm after I think. A witness that cares, and that I can give back to.