My grandad died on Tuesday. He was my mum's dad. I haven't written on here till now because I'm not sure how to describe how I feel. I'm still not sure, just hoping it will come out if I start. First off, it's awful to have to watch my mum be upset, but she's actually coping really well. Both her parents have gone now, her mum died before I was even born. It's lucky that they had a trip to India booked already, they leave at 4am or something tonight. The think about Hinduism is that they burn the body immediately, so if you're not in the country, you don't get to see the body. My dad wasn't able to perform the last rites for my great grandma as she had asked him to, because he just couldn't get there quick enough despite being there in under 48hours. My mum said she didn't want to go earlier because they wouldn't wait for her before the cremation anyway. I think they're at least waiting for my parents to arrive before they perform all the other ceremonies though. It must be an awful feeling to know that both your parents are dead, no matter how old you are. It's also an odd feeling for me, knowing that I don;t have any grandparents from that side of the family anymore. Like a void.

As for me, I wasn't that close to him, but he was still my grandad. He was always kind to me, gave me money or gifts , and he just wanted me to be happy. I don't know why but I always thought he was a little bit quirky...probably just old age, but I liked that :) Speaking of age, he was 97... a pretty impressive age if you ask me. Whenever I saw his letters to my mum, he often mentioned my late grandma (who died before I was born). Seems like he missed her quite a lot. I dom't know if I believe in an after life, I don't really know what I believe anymore....but if there is one I hope he's with her.

I heard the news when I was at Alton towers with my friends. I felt a bit bad for them, they must have felt slightly arkward, but they were all so great, I love them all :). But I had a really fun couple of days, and I was glad they were there. Anyway, I better go as I have many errands to run and work to do, but I just need to say this as I won't ever get to see his body...goodbye nanaji, I hope you're at peace. xx